• Consistently avoids making future plans or commitments: If your partner is always dodging the question when you ask about your next vacation, it could be a sign that they’re not ready to commit. They might also avoid talking about their own long-term goals and aspirations.
• Shows reluctance to introduce their partner to friends and family: If your significant other keeps putting off meeting Aunt Bertha or introducing you to their best friend from college, it’s possible that they don’t see a future with you. Or maybe they just hate Aunt Bertha.
• Has a history of short-lived relationships or serial dating without settling down: You know those people who are constantly in and out of relationships? Yeah, those are commitment-phobes. They jump from one person to another because they can’t handle the thought of being tied down for too long.
• Expresses fear or discomfort when discussing the possibility of marriage or long-term commitment: This one should be pretty obvious. If every time you bring up marriage your partner breaks out in hives, there may be some underlying issues at play.
• Exhibits inconsistent behavior, such as being hot and cold in the relationship: One day they’re all over you like white on rice; the next day they’re MIA. Commitment-phobes tend to have trouble staying consistent because deep down inside, they’re terrified of getting too close.
• Struggles with vulnerability and opening up emotionally to their partner: Emotions? What emotions? A true commitment-phobe would rather get a root canal than talk about how much they love someone (or anything remotely mushy).
• Often prioritizes personal goals and hobbies over spending time with their significant other: Sorry babe, I can’t make dinner tonight – I’ve got an important date…with my Netflix queue! Sometimes commitment-phobes use work/school/hobbies as an excuse for avoiding intimacy.
• May have trust issues stemming from past failed relationships that prevent them from fully committing: Once bitten, twice shy. If your partner has been burned in the past, they may be hesitant to put themselves out there again.
• Avoids discussions about moving in together or sharing finances: Living together? Sharing a bank account? That sounds like a nightmare! A commitment-phobe would rather live alone with their cat than share space (or money) with someone else.
• Demonstrates a lack of interest in meeting their partner’s needs or compromising on important decisions: “You want me to do what now?” Commitment-phobes tend to have trouble putting others first and making sacrifices for the sake of the relationship.
• May have a fear of missing out on other potential partners or experiences: The grass is always greener…right? Some commitment-phobes worry that by settling down too soon, they’ll miss out on all the fun things life has to offer (like swiping right on Tinder).
• Has difficulty expressing love and affection towards their partner: PDA? Ew. Holding hands? Gross. Saying “I love you”? Never gonna happen. Commitment-phobes struggle with showing physical and emotional intimacy because it makes them feel vulnerable.
• Tends to keep their options open by flirting with others or maintaining online dating profiles: Just because I’m seeing you doesn’t mean I can’t window shop! Commitment-phobes often keep one foot out the door by exploring other romantic prospects while still technically being in a relationship.
• Avoids discussing the future in detail, such as where they see themselves in five years: Who knows where we’ll be tomorrow – let alone five years from now! For some commitment-phobes, talking about long-term plans feels overwhelming and suffocating.
• Appears uncomfortable when confronted with relationship milestones, such as meeting the parents: Meeting your significant other’s family can be nerve-wracking, but for a commitment-phobe it’s downright terrifying. They worry that by taking this step they’re committing to something more serious than they’re ready for.
• Struggles with making decisions that involve long-term commitments, such as buying a house together: “I don’t know…what do you think?” Commitment-phobes tend to struggle with decision-making because each choice feels like another step towards being tied down forever.
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