• No contact is the best way to deal with a commitment phobe. If you’re trying to get over someone who can’t commit, it’s like trying to run on a treadmill that doesn’t have an off switch. You’ll just keep going and going without making any progress. Going no contact allows you to step off that treadmill and find your own path.
• It allows you to focus on your own healing and growth without being distracted by their behavior. When you’re in a relationship with a commitment phobe, it’s easy to get caught up in their drama and forget about yourself. No contact gives you the space you need to work on your own issues and become the best version of yourself.
• Cutting off communication can be difficult, but it’s necessary for your well-being. Letting go of someone who isn’t good for us is like giving up our favorite junk food – we know it’s not good for us, but damn if it isn’t addictive! But just like eating healthy leads to feeling better physically, cutting out toxic people leads to feeling better emotionally.
• Commitment phobes often have a fear of intimacy and struggle with emotional vulnerability. They may act tough or aloof as a defense mechanism against getting hurt themselves. But let’s face it – they’re missing out on all the warm fuzzies that come from truly connecting with another human being!
• They may push you away or sabotage the relationship as a defense mechanism. It’s like they’ve got one foot out the door at all times because they don’t want anyone else controlling when or how they leave…even though leaving is exactly what they do every time things start getting serious.
• Trying to change them or convince them to commit will only lead to frustration and disappointment. You might as well try convincing Donald Trump that Twitter is bad for his image (oh wait…). The truth is, people only make changes when THEY are ready – not when someone else wants them to.
• Setting boundaries around communication can help you maintain distance from someone who is emotionally unavailable. It’s like putting up a “Do Not Disturb” sign on your heart – it sends the message loud and clear that you’re not interested in playing games or being strung along.
• This includes blocking their phone number, unfollowing them on social media, and avoiding places where they might be present. Think of it as going into witness protection…except instead of hiding from the mob, you’re hiding from emotional turmoil (which honestly can feel just as scary).
• Remember that no amount of love or patience can make someone ready for commitment if they are not willing themselves. It’s like trying to teach a cat how to do tricks – sure, some cats will learn eventually, but most would rather just nap in a sunbeam than jump through hoops.
• No contact gives you the opportunity to reflect on what you want in a relationship and whether a commitment phobe is right for you. Isn’t it funny how we often forget about our own needs and desires when we’re so focused on making another person happy? Going no contact allows us to take stock of what WE really want out of life and relationships.
• It allows you to prioritize your own needs and desires instead of constantly trying to please someone who can’t meet them. Let’s face it – people pleasing is exhausting! And when we try too hard to please others at our own expense, we end up feeling drained and resentful. No contact helps us break free from this cycle by allowing us to put ourselves first.
• If the commitment phobe reaches out after no contact,it’s important to evaluate their motives before responding. Just because an ex pops back into your life doesn’t mean they’ve suddenly had an epiphany about wanting more commitment. They may just be looking for attention or validation without any intention of actually committing.
• Resuming communication too soon can lead to repeating old patterns and getting hurt again. It’s like trying to put out a fire with gasoline – it only makes things worse! Taking time apart allows both parties to reflect on what went wrong and whether they’re willing to make changes moving forward.
• Going no contact doesn’t mean that there will never be an opportunity for reconciliation in the future if both parties are willing and ready. Sometimes people need space to grow and change before they’re ready for something more serious. But when (or if) that day comes, clear communication about expectations and boundaries is key!
P.S. You should check out these commitment phobia books at Amazon. (affiliate link)